Awe and Wonder

There was a time in my late twenties when I was so incredibly depressed that I could barely get out of bed.
Even when surrounded by my family and closest friends, I still felt incredibly detached and mind-numbingly lonely.
Though these same people loved me unconditionally, they hadn't the ability to understand me truly.
 
When I was at my most frantic, you appeared in my life.
You took notice of me.
You initiated a conversation.
You texted me.
You asked me out.
You embraced me.
You held the door.
You were chivalrous.
You wanted to learn.
You asked questions.
You listened.
You remembered.
You made me laugh.
You made me smile.
You called me.
You separated yourself.
When I felt my most despondent, you chose to enter my messiness.
 
With awe and wonder, I watched how selfless and generous you were with everyone in your life.
With awe and wonder, I felt your adoration when you canceled a full day of plans when you knew I was struggling.
With awe and wonder, I was touched by your affection when you blocked out entire weeks so I wouldn't be alone.
With awe and wonder, I was surrounded by your undeniably authentic heart when I needed you the most.
 
There was a time in my early thirties when I was so incredibly depressed that I was unable to function.
Even with weekly appointments with well-respected therapists, I believed I was losing my battle with my disease.
Though combated with a stable combination of stabilizing psychiatrist-prescribed drugs, I still cried myself to sleep nightly.
 
When I was at my most distraught, you appeared in my life.
You I welcomed into my life.
You I disclosed my stories.
You I revealed my past.
You I divulged my darkest secrets.
You I let near my heart.
You I bared my soul.
You I learned to trust.
You I persuaded to my bed.
You I invited to stay the night.
You I chose to share all of myself.
You I requested to hold.
You I asked to listen.
You I sought advice.
You I had stand by my side.
You I desired to care.
You I loved. 
When I was at my most desperate, you remained in my life.
 
With awe and wonder, I watched how selfless and generous you were with everyone in your life.
With awe and wonder, I felt your adoration when you canceled a full day of plans when you knew I was struggling.
With awe and wonder, I was touched by your affection when you blocked out entire weeks so I wouldn't be alone.
With awe and wonder, you surrounded me with your undeniably authentic heart when I needed you the most.
 
Gratefully, I will reflect on how you helped dig me out of what I thought was sure to be an early grave.
Appreciatively, I'll forever recall the countless nights you stayed awake while I sobbed, assuring me all would be ok.
Fondly, I have eternally memorized how you gazed at me with such loving eyes and confidently hopeful smiles.
Adoringly, I will regard our time as some of the most encouraging and undeniably special moments of my entire life.