Unspecial

Getting ready for the evening
Mother and daughter, their smiles so bright
The dress fits so nice
There’s such promise to the night

The girls mingle as Mom drives
Three in the back, one sitting shot
Four freshmen in all
Five smiles full of hope

Mom stops at the entrance
And says, “Danielle, you have some fun.”
Her friends already gone
Danielle stands all alone

Peering her head inside of the car
The smile she wears dazzles Mom  
A kiss to the cheek
Still promise to the night

It’s a night she’ll remember
In an unspecial way
In an unspecial place
With an unspecial group
Yeah, a night that will mold her 
On this unspecial day
Memories to cry this time away

While the DJ plays some favorite songs
Danielle & the girls dance all around
Watching all the boys
Tryin to find their place

Some fellas gather round, three in all
Mingling, flirting, but not Danielle
She’s the odd girl out
And though that's nothing new
It hurts so much more
She’s dressed to impress
There to get noticed
But ignored all the same
It’s a night she’ll remember
In an unspecial way
In an unspecial place
With an unspecial group
Yeah, a night that will mold her 
On this unspecial day
Memories to cry this time away

Leavin the floor and standing all alone
Shoulders sulking; wondering why
Holding her head high
Trying not to cry

Not a soul noticing her disappearance 
Danielle pressed up against the wall
Standing all alone
Staring at the fun

Though far more accepting since that eleven
More respected and kinder soles
Hurtful words reduced 
But sadness just the same

It’s a night she’ll remember
In an unspecial way
In an unspecial place
With an unspecial group
Yeah, a night that will mold her 
On this unspecial day
Memories to cry this time away

Gathering courage, she tries once again
And strolls the floor for her friends
Feeling a need to belong
Bug ignored just the same

Drinking punch from the bowl
A face with a smile so fake 
Wanting to be at home
Wanting to be alone

Mom’s sits as Danielle approaches
Tears streaming from both eyes
Tears she trying to hide
Full of wounded pride

It sure isn’t easy to look so plain
Growing up, the pain more and more intense
Pretty. Stunning. Gorgeous.
Words Danielle believes she’ll never hear

It’s tough growing up
When you don’t feel pretty
When you don’t feel included
When you don’t feel liked

And since that eleven
We’ve been far more accepting
But socially speaking
We haven’t changed a bit

It’s a night she’ll remember
In an unspecial way
In an unspecial place
With an unspecial group
Yeah, a night that will mold her 
On this unspecial day
Memories to cry this time away

The ride home full of giggles and gossip
Their evenings that and so much more  
But Danielle feels so sad
While trying to be glad

Knowing that her presence was not at all missed
Associating them now with those hurtful boys
Feeling so low and alone  
Feeling unwanted and used

It’s a night she’ll remember
In an unspecial way
In an unspecial place
With an unspecial group
Yeah, a night that will mold her 
On this unspecial day
Memories to cry this time away

It’s tough growing up
When you feel so average
When you feel so ignored
When you feel so unwanted
When you feel so dull
When you feel so small
When you feel so empty
When you feel so meaningless
When you feel so purposeless 
When you feel like your nothing

I wrote this poem after chaperoning a homecoming dance one year. I began writing it about midnight and just wrote through the night. It is about one of the girls at the dance. I want to give her all of the respect in the world for going to the dance. It was something that I never dared to do while I was in high school. This girl (whose name is not Danielle. I have no idea what her name is actually. I didn't speak to her on that night and did not speak to her during any other time of her high school years) was not nearly as attractive as the group of girls that she was with. Also, I had no idea what grade she was in at the time. However, she was no older than a junior because I saw her from time to time at school at least one year after this event. She was very average-looking.

Much like a young person at one of her first high school dances, she dashed around from spot to spot, chatting it up with some of her girlfriends, going to the refreshments stand, etc. But unlike her friends, she wasn't asked to dance with any boys. So while her friends were out on the floor, dancing with different boys, she remained a wallflower, watching her friends having fun, her smile slowly fading with each passing minute.

It's about how our youth have become more understanding and accepting of different cultures. Along those same lines, they had become more accepting of students with disabilities (through inclusion) and more accepting of people in general (much more accepting than people when I was in high school). However, since the start of time, what hasn't changed is that people with more physical beauty get far more attention than average-looking people. And at some point in our lives, we all discover that. Observing this girl on this night made me believe that this was our discovery of that truth. It was hard seeing her become sadder and sadder as the night moved on. So I wrote this poem about her. 

Written in 2003

Copyright, The Poetry of Bryan Buser